Free Will

"Do we really have free will?"

My public speaking professor asked this question today. He referenced the book, Free Will by Sam Harris, which according my professor suggests that because we are hardwired to follow certain paths, we really don't have free will.

It makes me think of some of the most painful parts of my life, where I froze up in terror. I have had counselors tell me that a lot of my reaction had to do with the way my brain was wired. They told me in extreme stress people either flight, fight, or freeze. It certainly felt, in those traumatic moments, that I was frozen to the point that I lacked free will.

I have not read Free Will and do not even know how accurate my professor's description of it is, so until I do, I cannot have an educated opinion on the book, yet my professor's question got me thinking. I have been in some of the worst imaginable situations, and I said and did nothing. It was as though I was not even in my body, but a distant observer.

My biggest challenge in life has been learning to trust in myself rather than freezing in fear. Some might say I was hardwired to be obedient. When my professor went to his computer to play a video of a speech for the class, I noticed the projection screen was still rolled up. I could pull it down for him, but he hadn't asked me to do that and it seemed too awkward to stand up in the middle of class. I decided to stand up and move the screen down anyway, trusting my own authority to do so.

I have always believed that no matter what the circumstances, people can chose to change. I have listened to Emotional Intelligence on audio book three or four times, and this introduced me to the term neuroplasticity, meaning the brain can and does change. As painful as my experiences of freezing up have been, I do not feel victim to them. I feel they exist as my greatest teachers. In contrast, the experience of standing up in the middle of class feels so empowering, and the more I do this, the more I can rewire my own brain, not to freeze, or even be limited to fight or flight, but to be calm and act in the exact way I feel is best.

Cutting Free talks about all the traumatic situations where I froze up, but not without counterexamples where I acted completely differently than I even knew I could.

I have free will.