Go Hot Dog! Revision Notes

"Go Hot Dog!" is now in it's 15th revision. Holla!


Here are some helpful readers' comments:

1. My writing can be too ambiguous.


Example:
“She’s coming out of her shell, isn’t she?”
“Yes, this is quite the change in her,” Ann said.

What are these characters talking about, right? It takes the reader out of the present and leads nowhere. The hardest thing about writing a memoir is to avoid journaling; this past statement is relevant to me, but not to the reader.

2. I need stronger character description.

I barely describe my friend Heidi. Someone mentioned that while she actually knows Heidi--what she looks like, why she's there supporting me, etc.--not everyone does.

3. Wordiness.

Ex: We worked at a half reprographics, half art store...
Change to...We worked at a printing and art store.

Ex: I wore a long-sleeved jacket... (Duh! Am I going to wear a sleeveless jacket to a freezing race? Wait, don't answer that...)
Change to...I wore a jacket ...


Thank-you to everyone who helped me improve my first chapter!