My Next Two Weeks

My work often gives me tremendous energy, sometimes leading me to stay up too late lost in a project, but tonight I will remind myself to wind down because I have a very early morning tomorrow. In the morning I will wake up early and hike Ben Lomond. I've never been at the top of a mountain yet, but tomorrow I won't be able to write that sentence again. Since this is a significant and accessible challenge, mounting the top will be my new experience for this week. I haven't done anything new yet! I can't let any week go, for if I do, I didn't accomplish my goal, and who wants to read a book about the girl who almost did something new every week of the year?

It ties into another new experience, which was painting an image of a snow-covered Ben Lomond onto a life-size horse for downtown Ogden. I like to be as connected as I can with the artwork I create, but even more important, this is my life, I have a mountain in my backyard, why not climb it? I remember a friend Kenny telling me he climbed that back when we were in high school, and I was amazed. I didn't realize that I hold the same ability to reach the top. Early tomorrow I will drive to North Ogden pass and hike the Skyline Trail. I found the trail late last week and was going to hike it on Sunday, but excuses arise and I didn't do it. Tomorrow is really my only chance before the week's end. Normally I would not wake up at 6 am on my day off to climb a mountain, but that is the beauty of the year's challenge. It creates a motivation to live which I have never quite experienced before in my lifetime.

I am almost done with the month of July. That means only five months left. I have already done something new every week for more than half the year; I don't know exactly what I'll be doing over the next five months, but I didn't know what I was going to do over the previous seven either. The intention had a way of fulfilling itself.

Once in a college class, the class was listing oxymorons, and a student suggested "How about rap music?" I had to laugh at that. And now I have to laugh at myself. My new thing for next week is I will go to a rap concert. I have never liked rap very much, but in this situation that only makes a stronger argument to attend. It is out of my comfort zone and just like at my cousin Kanani's party, my white self might stand out like Gandolf transformed into a white wizard in the Lord of the Rings (oh no, that statement alone just made me even whiter--yet notice how it is in my power to delete it, but I don't because a glowing wizard at a rap concert is too funny). Rap itself though has become more and more mainstream and we all notice the many white folks listening to it and trying to use it as a definition of personal style. I know very little about rap, but I sometimes get the feeling that many people consider it the antithesis of a white existence. I can only weigh in so much on the issue when I know so little. When I was twelve and my dad bought a computer that had a cd-rom (I remember what a huge deal it was at the time), I used to spend hours exploring Encarta Encyclopedia and would listen to an excerpt of Grand Master Flash's "The Message." I loved the keyboards in the background. The excerpt was probably less than a minute; very short, especially considering this song is over seven minutes long, so I only had a taste. My younger brothers have both been interested in rap music. And the glimpses I've had of it are more from music videos than the music itself. It seems like the image of rap, at least seen through white culture, and the music itself, are almost two separate entities. Sometimes I also feel like if the image of nonwhite culture seems harder and tougher than my own, anyone who isn't white will seem scarier behind the desk in an office and therefore be far less likely to be hired. Meanwhile the rest of us can feel cool by turning on the radio and paying $50 for a concert ticket to watch a rap artist who has branched into the mainstream so well, there are sure to be many other white people just like us watching the show.

In having all these new experiences in my life, there is a question of whether these challenges truly help me grow. I believe they have, but sometimes it is too easy to think we're doing something different, when we really just end up staying where we are comfortable after all. For example, showing interest in another culture, but only after that culture has sufficiently overlapped with our own that we no longer know the difference. Not that I even got to that point. I haven't given this genre much consideration, even though I love music, and maybe it's because I bought into the idea that I didn't belong with it. I had forgotten all about "The Message" until now.

I think going to any rap concert would hold merit for a new experience for me. I don't even listen to it, so attending a concert is quite a jump. But I don't want to be disillusioned either and believe this is a step towards carrying the so-called ghetto-pass, which is stupid anyway, because no one stands up in third grade and says "When I grow up, I want to live in the ghetto." What I would like is to accept a situation I'm not accustomed to--just very plain and simple.

This is a local concert held in downtown Ogden. I really don't know what to expect. Fliers were brought into my work, which is how I discovered it. I noticed recently that all the fliers were gone, and I hope that doesn't mean the people hosting the concert canceled and came back to pick up all the fliers. That sounds unrealistic though; more likely someone just threw away all the fliers. They must have been thrown away because there were probably close to twenty or thirty fliers, and then they were gone. Oh well. I just really want to go. It's funny how here I am, not even a fan of rap and really hoping I can still go to this rap concert! However I will not attend dressed up like a wizard or any Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter character. That can always be another week.